Having a child is hard enough. Don’t get me wrong, it’s beautiful and intense. A life changing experience that evokes previously uncharted depths of emotion.
But it would be foolish to pretend that all of those emotions are a sun filled walk in the park. The rollercoaster ride that is becoming a parent, has defined highs and lows (from the glorious new baby smell right through to stealth toddler poops in the cupboard!).
The balance of highs and lows can be difficult to manage though, when health issues like reflux and allergies rear their heads. Sleeplessness that other parents associate with a newborn, can stretch on for years.
Simple tasks such as going out for a coffee can become intimidating and emotionally exhausting if you’re constantly catching vomit and dodging allergens.
And then there’s the loneliness. The crippling loneliness. A feeling of being five thousand miles away from everyone else in the room. Because no one else is worrying about food proteins, rashes, vomiting and whether you’ll see the A&E crew again before midnight if you lose your vigilance for even a moment.
But the hardest of thing of all? When the professionals, the very people who are meant to listen, to understand and to care, dismiss your child and your concern!
A few months ago, I heard another mother in the hospital say:
“For us, the road to A&E is always paved by doctors who didn’t listen”.
Now, when I started our allergy baby journey, I thought the infamous Dr D@ckhead was one specific doctor who lacked empathy for the things allergy parents endure. While it seemed a bit of a harsh monicker, I presumed it well earned.
But as the time as gone by, I’ve come to realise that it’s a little bit more like the use of Joe Bloggs in the U.K. The turn of phrase simply refers to any doctor who fails to help an allergy baby because they dismissed the parent, lacked empathy or failed to examine the children adequately.
I personally, really do understand that medicine is simply a lot of very educated guesses made by very clever people. And when those guesses don’t lead to the correct diagnosis, I’m grateful for a doctor who continues wanting to solve the problem and follows up with my child.
That said, I still feel just as crushed as anyone else when a doctor fails to listen forcing us to re-pave the same old road. Watching your child become increasing unwell while enduring unnecessary suffering until you finally end up being sent to the hospital. In our experience, hospital doctors are truly excellent and we’re always relieved to see them. But we would rather Dr D%ckhead had just done their job so we wouldn’t have to!
Do you find it hard to make yourself heard when dealing with doctors? How do you cope when the educated guesses aren’t so clever?
Xx Allergy Mama